Traveling Soldier (M/L, OG, AU, Teen) [Complete]

Part Two 

“Are you scared?”

They had been sitting at the pier for over an hour. The sun setting beautifully before them as they watched in awe and talked about everything and anything that came to their minds. Gone was the shy boy she had seen in the café, and now Liz found herself with the sweet and interesting mystery she had sensed lurking beneath.

They had talked about his family, about his dreams, and all the things he had given up once his father died.

“When my dad died, I don’t think I was old enough to really understand what it was going to mean for the rest of my life. I understood that I was sad, that I was going to miss him. I just didn’t really understand what he was going to miss.”

Liz thought about her own father back at the diner, with all his rules and hopes for her, and she thought of how desperate she was to get away from it, only to realize how lucky she really was to have it.

“I would watch you all at school, scared to let myself get to close, and see you with your families. I would wonder why mine was the way it was. Why my dad had to be the one that was taken away.”

“Oh, Max...I’m so sorry.”

“For a while I was mad at him, I actually blamed him, just because I needed someone to be angry at because I felt so out of control.”

Liz’s small hand moved to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to offer him any kind of comfort she could.
“You have to know that it’s not what he would’ve wanted. He would’ve wanted to be there for you, to be there everyday and watch as you grew up.”

“I know that now, and it makes me feel so guilty for ever thinking the way I did.”

“You were just a kid, Max. You were asked to deal with something like that all by yourself, and it’s okay that you felt the way you did, that you felt anger at all was a good thing because it means you never stopped feeling, never stopped living.”

He had been so young, and yet he had continued to live and grow into the wonderful person she was finding inside of him, even as he had watched his mother suffer everyday from the loss of the man she loved.

“She stayed in bed for the first week, and I thought it was just something she would eventually stop doing. I thought that one day she would realize she was still my mother and I needed her. But she never got out of bed, and it turned out that she needed me a lot more than I needed her.”

“But how could she do that to you?”

Max just smiled that small sort of sad smile that he had. “She was in love. She really, truly, loved my father with every bit of her body and soul, and she couldn’t bear being without him. They were soul mates.”

He didn’t blame her for burdening him the way she did at such a young age, and it was that fact that made Liz so surprised. Instead, he had confessed that he was in awe of her, amazed by just how deeply she had been able to love.

“I could never blame her for being in love with him, because if she hadn’t been, I wouldn’t even exist. Their love gave me life...and I was there for her because of that.”

“Do you think you’ll find your soul mate?”

He paused for a minute, but it wasn’t in consideration of his answer. She knew that none of them could ever really know where life was going to take them. They could only know what they wanted. And for him it was that simple.

“That’s all I want in life,” he told her. “To find someone I love, and just let myself be loved back by them.”

In all her years of planning and scheming to get away from the ordinary future her father had mapped out in front of her, she had never once doubted herself. But hearing Max speak about it, hearing him explain love in a way that made her heart yearn for the feeling...she wondered if that was why her father pushed her to it so much, simply because he knew what it felt like, and wanted her to feel it too.

She had never even considered it, had always viewed marriage in a completely different way. Hearing Max talk about his parents, about his father and how much they loved not only each other, but also him, made Liz wonder if that was a kind of fulfillment that you didn’t need anything else for. If it was something worth giving up all her dreams for after all.

She had grown quiet, a fact that he had immediately noticed, and had asked her what she was thinking about. Without much warning, everything she had been feeling came out. How she felt pressured to live a certain kind of life and didn’t really have a choice, how she had spent years saving with the hopes of getting away and finding herself and her own path, it all came spilling from her in waves of emotion that she could barely control.

“It’s just that, all my life I’ve been told that I need to live a certain way, that I’m going to end up a certain way and living their life, and I’ve always wanted more than that. I want to figure out who I’m supposed to be, figure out where I’m meant to be on my own. How can someone else decide that for you?”

He understood her confusion at the way he spoke of love, and how she now wondered different things about her life and her family’s guidance. He listened to her patiently, never judging, and offering advice and opinions whenever she asked for them.

“All my life I’ve had this plan, to get out of Roswell and see the world. But now, I talk to you and while it all still seems wonderful, I’m wondering if there really is something worth giving all that up for. I mean, how do I know?”

“No one can decide that for you, Liz. It’s something that you’ll just feel. You’ll know when you’ve found where you’re supposed to be and I believe you’ll do it on your own.”

He believed in her, and it was enough to make Liz believe in herself, however uncertain her future still was, she knew she would get things right. Hearing him say it had made it possible.

It was the first time that any male figure in her life had ever treated her as an equal, treated her as if everything she felt and thought was important and mattered just as much as a male’s. It was the first time in her life she felt free.

And just like that she found her answer. There, staring at the setting sun and drawing the very last feelings of warmth and lightness from it, her arm brushing lightly against the skin of this stranger, she found clarity.

It was all worth it, if you found the person who could make it so.

And as she watched him, as he looked at her and listened to her, as he made her feel needed, she knew that it had happened. She wasn’t sure how or why it had, but she wasn’t going to question it.

She wondered if he could feel the same way about her, knowing deep down it was all pretty much pointless with him going off to war. Who knew when he would come back, who knew if he would, a thought that clenched her heart with fear.

And that was why she asked him, because she was scared. She was scared for him, going off into a world he knew nothing about, fighting against a terrible enemy...she was scared for herself, scared that if something happened to him she knew she might never feel this way again. But his answer showed her there was even more to be scared of.

“I’m not scared to die...” he told her honestly, his eyes forward and unable to look at her. “I’m scared not to have moments like these ever again, I’m scared to miss out on all the things I want to experience in my life, and I’m scared that I’m never going to be here, just like this, ever again...”

His hand trailed up softly over her cheek, as he pushed a stray strand of hair behind her eyes, smiling at her as she leaned in to his touch. She look at him, and realized she was scared of the same thing. Scared that she would never feel this safe and free ever again. Scared to be alone.

“I bet you have a boyfriend...” he trailed softly, finally turning to look at her. “But I don’t care.” Liz opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t but he just continued. “I don’t have anyone to send a letter to...and I was wondering if you would mind if I sent one back here to you?”

Liz nodded, a smile breaking out over her face as she realized he might be feeling exactly the same way about her that she was feeling about him, wondering if maybe they had found that person...

They had spent their entire lives within a mile of each other, had gone to the same school for years, but still they had remained a complete mystery to each other. And now, just an hour before he was to be sent off to war, they had found each other. Liz couldn’t help but feel that the entire thing was unbelievably cruel.

Would God let them find each other, only to never allow them the chance to be together? It was a question that ran over and over in her mind, as they sat together, just enjoying what could be their last few moments together.

Finally, it was time for him to go to the bus station, and Liz agreed to walk with him. He climbed to his feet, offering her a hand to get to her own, but even once she was standing, his fingers simply entwined with her own, instead of dropping her small hand as they walked.

“Do you think if there hadn’t been a draft, you would’ve still gone to the war?”

He seemed to consider this for a moment. “I’m not sure...some days I’m convinced I’m doing the right thing, that I’m helping my country and doing my civic duty to America. But there are other days...days when I feel those are simply words they feed to the dying soldiers so they can feel good about themselves, and I wonder what I’m really fighting for.”

“It doesn’t seem fair...”

For the first time, Liz felt tears in her eyes at what was really happening. The reality of where he was being sent was finally hitting her, and it wasn’t until he stopped them in the middle of the street that she forced herself to stop her tears.

He ran his thumbs across her cheeks, drying her eyes and leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Please don’t cry, Liz. I don’t think I could get on that bus if I saw you crying...”

She gave him a teary wry smile, “would that be such a bad thing?”

He smiled back at her, this time leaning in to drop a kiss on the tip of her nose. He pulled back, resting their foreheads against each others, and closing his eyes. Liz squeezed her own shut to push back more tears.

“I know that you’re scared. I’m scared too. And I know there isn’t much I can even say right now to make you feel any better, but I can promise you one thing, Liz...”

“What?” she sniffed sadly, tilting her head up and breathing him in as his cheek brushed across her own. They pulled back, but only slightly, before Max’s hands came up to frame her face. His thumbs brushed across her cheeks once more, before he leaned in slightly, and she could tell his eyes were searching her own for permission.

She nudged her face against his slightly, giving him all the answer he needed, before his lips came down and met her own.

It was soft, and tentative, everything a first kiss should be. It was two parts finding each other, taking the time to acquaint themselves, before they met again, this time slightly more firm, the hesitance replaced with a need to feel complete. A need that could only be filled by each other.

Everything she was feeling, she poured into their kiss. Every emotion she held: fear, wonder, curiosity, and even what she knew could only be love, went from her soul to his own in that soft and loving kiss. And she felt it all come back to her as well.

Reluctantly, they drew apart, but Max’s forehead remained pressed against her own, and his eyes never left hers.

“I’ll come back to you,” he promised fiercely, and she nodded with tears in her eyes.

She didn’t know how it had happened. And she knew that it had happened almost too quickly. But what she felt for him went beyond anything she had felt in her life. In the last few hours they had spent on the pier, she had been let into his life and his heart, and unknowingly she had let him into her own. She knew now there was no turning back.

“And I’ll be here waiting for you,” she vowed passionately. “I promise.”

He hugged her to him once again, before they finally pulled away, their hands once again meeting at their sides as they made their way through the streets of Roswell.

She smiled up at him, walking along the streets where she had lived her entire life, and looked at everything in a completely different way. Now, she didn’t feel trapped by the overwhelming closeness of everything. She no longer felt annoyed by the simple townsmen who lived their simple lives the same way every day.

Roswell was a whole new world, a place she was ready to discover, with her hand securely in Max’s and him by her side.

To Be Continued...

Part Four 

***

Things between Liz and her parents continued to be uneasy as the months passed. With no word from Max, her parents latched on to the fears and doubts that were slowly beginning to form in her head.

She continued to hold onto her faith, believing that he would return home, that he was safe and simply unable to send word due to fighting. She kept her hope alive by writing to him, whenever she could she found herself locked away in her room, her thoughts focused on a warm day at the pier.

The sounds of fighting drifted up to her ears, and Liz was forced to put down her pen to see what was going on. She crept out of her room, the frustrated voices of her mother and father filling her ears.

“She’s only a child, Jeffrey! She can’t possibly know what she wants!”

Liz watched her father rub his face in frustration, as Liz forced back a reply to her mother’s outrageous comment. She was no child, far from it.

“She’s not a child, Nancy. As much as you and I want to deny, Liz is not our little girl anymore.” Liz appreciated her father’s support, but it didn’t stop her from feeling sad for him at his words.

“I refuse to let my daughter turn herself into a war widow at the age of sixteen. I refuse it! She’s living under our roof and she will do as we say and that’s final.”

“Sweetheart, you know that isn’t going to work. What happens when we tell her that and she decides to take off? I don’t want to lose her anymore than we already are,” he tried to reason. “Look, I’ll talk to her, but the truth is, we’re going to have to be willing to accept the fact that Liz is as stubborn as we both are.”

“You can talk to her all you want, Jeff, but the truth of the matter is, we are her parents and she has to do as we say.”

Refusing to hear anymore, Liz stormed off to her bedroom, making sure her door slammed loud enough to be heard downstairs.

She collapsed in tears on her bed, the frustration of her situation finally getting the best of her. She loved her parents, hated being at odds with them. But her decision had been made. Months ago she had made a promise to Max, and in the time he had been gone her desire to fulfill it had not lessened at all.

She would be waiting when he came home, and she knew he would come home.

It took a little longer than expected for a soft knocking to be at her door. But since she expected it, she knew exactly what to say. She would appease her parents; it was the only thing she could do, and when Max came home she would be with him.

She hated it, but one time out with Kyle and it would keep her parents off her back. So, when her father settled onto the bed, she told him what she was thinking.

“I’ll go with Kyle to the football game, dad.”

She knew that the icy tone in her voice was coming off loud and clear, but she knew her father wouldn’t say anything about it. She believed that he did want her to be happy, but right now he was stuck between trying to appease her mother, and make Liz happy. Liz was giving him the easy way out.

Planting a kiss on the top of her head, and promising that things would be okay, Liz’s dad left the room. The second the door closed, Liz’s tears started. The ache inside of her grew a little more and she could do nothing to stop how much she desperately missed Max. Being without him was like being without air to breathe. She was dying inside every day they were apart. She could only hope that it wouldn’t be much longer before he was home.

She closed her eyes, feeling herself slip off to sleep, all her dreams centered around her traveling soldier.

***

Of all the words Max could use to describe war, the only one that seemed to fit best was “dark”. Everything about this place came back to that one simple word, a word that contrasted so much with the way he viewed his home.

Night had fallen, casting shadows around them as they all tried to make their way through the dense foliage of the forest in front of them. He knew it was night from the way people whispered. It seemed that everything became quiet, hidden, in the evening hours. But that was the only way he could distinguish it.

Because even the brightest morning hour, could not be described as “light”. Nothing here could.

They were trapped in darkness in so many ways, sent out into the darkness, fighting to avoid a fate that would lead them where there was no light at all. Some of the men went happily towards that light at the end of the tunnel. It called to them, in it’s warm and welcoming way, making them believe they were being pulled from the cold, rather than taken to it.

Max had watched, horrified, in his first days in Vietnam as soldiers he befriended were never seen again. They trudged on to battle together, and he came back to empty beds in the end of it. Beds that would stay empty for only so long, before another condemned soul was sent to rest in it.

He learned early not to make friends, unable to bear the loss that followed, the fear that he might be next, when they never returned.

War stripped you of your identity. On the battle field there was no rank, there were no names; it was not the place for feelings. These things were taken away to be replaced with a single number, your only means of identification, until you died and your families suffered the loss of who you really were.

It had been that reason in itself, which had made Max reluctant to come to war. The knowledge that there was no one left to mourn him, no one to care if he lived or died, to make him a real person instead of another nameless face, that made him wonder who he was fighting for. How could he fight to survive, when no one would notice if he lived or died?

He had only met one person like him, a person with the same fears and doubts about the war they were currently fighting. A boy by the name of Jonny, shipped off to war the day after he turned eighteen. It was his first night at battle, and it showed by the way he stood just a few feet behind Max, as they pushed through the trees in search of the Vietkong.
As much as he had warned himself not to, Max found himself getting close to the other soldier. They had stayed up the night at camp, talking about home, sharing stories and finding comfort in their memories.

There was a new urge in him, along with surviving, to protect Jonny. He was only a few months younger than Max was himself, but he couldn’t help but feel that the age difference spanned much longer than that.

Max had been denied a childhood, denied his innocence when he was young, a fact that he had always slightly resented until now. He did not hold anything against his parents, but had always wondered what it would be like to spend time with other children. When they died, Max had been allowed that chance, and it had been the greatest gift he could’ve been given.

This brought his thoughts to Liz, and though no one could see it, he found himself smiling in the midst of terror. She was the light in the center of the darkness that now shrouded his soul. She was the light leading him home, the strength that kept him going. She was what he fought for. He was fighting to come back to her, to keep his promise, to keep her from mourning.

He would do anything to keep her from sadness, had killed to prove that very fact. And he could almost feel her getting closer, could almost see their future together on the horizon. That hope was all he needed to push him on, to get him through every day, no matter how dark and desolate it seemed.

She was all he needed. All he would ever need.

He could think about her all day, could look to the future forever, but the reality of his present demanded his attention. The darkness pulled him in.

The sound of bullets whizzing by caught his attention, and the men around him threw themselves to the ground. Max followed, chest heaving as he supported his body on his forearms, and waited for their chance to get up and fire back. His gun lay beneath him, digging into his stomach, waiting to be fired.

Craning his neck to look behind him, Max could just make out the top of Jonny’s head, but was unable to tell if he was alright. He wanted to call out to him, but training kept his mouth shut. He would find out soon enough.

Someone called softly in the darkness, giving them directions, and Max stood on heavy legs. Fear coursed through him, just as it always did on these nights, identical to the tremor he had felt rush through them all as they crouched in silence.

Turning around, he noticed that Jonny had yet to move. Taking a step backwards to check on him, Max prayed that he remained on the floor due to his fear, and not because he had been shot. But the way his arm lay positioned oddly at his side, increased his fear.

He turned the boy over, noticing immediately the blood soaking through a hole in his shirt. Touching the corner of Jonny’s mouth, Max found blood on his fingertips.

“No,” he said to no one in particular, knowing that his troop had already continued to advance.

“Am I gonna die?” he whispered, hands clutching Max’s shirt, but the touch was so light he could barely feel it.

“No.” Max didn’t know who he was trying to convince, but he could see the tears in Jonny’s eyes, mirroring the ones in his own. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Jonny smiled, and Max watched as another light dimmed before him, until it went out completely. The darkness tearing his heart.

He knew he should get back to his troop, but he could not leave Jonny, so with all the strength he could find, he lifted the boys’ body. It was stupid, some would say, a waste of effort and strength, but Max couldn’t bear to leave him alone, couldn’t stand the thought of him being swallowed up completely by the dark.

His heavy legs struggled under the new burden, but Max made his way towards his troop, gun banging against his leg as it lay dormant and unused. Guns had been shot, several Vietkong. already killed by the other men, and Max could see it in the eyes of the men that they were ready to go back.

A cry tore through the night, and everything changed.

“GRENADE!”

The world exploded around them. Max could feel his body flying through the air, pain coursing through him. The darkness filled with colors and screams, blazing streaks of light surrounding them all...

He thought of Liz, of their day on the pier, the warmth so different from the one he felt now. He thought of their future that they would someday have together. He remembered his promise, remembered her own loving vow.

And then, the entire world went black.

***

Liz woke from her nap, her heart racing, covered in sweat. She had dreamed of Max, felt him as if he had been right there with her. But the reality was that he was a million miles away, most likely living the hellish nightmare her mind had forced her to experience.

Her heart went out to him, praying that he was safe, praying that her fears were unwarranted. But as she dressed for the football game she would be attending with Kyle, her mind could focus on little else.

It wasn’t abnormal, her thoughts usually centered on him, but this time it felt different. Liz could not shake the nagging fear in the back of her mind, the small sense of dread that was slowly becoming larger by the second.

But she forced herself to relax. If anything had happened to Max, she would know about it. It was her worst fear, to come to the door and find a telegram saying that he had been killed, but the fact that it had yet to happen filled her with a tiny sense of comfort. At least for the time being.

Kyle seemed to notice that Liz’s mind was somewhere else as they went out. He tried to make conversation, and Liz did her best to seem interested and responsive, but the task was proving to be impossible.

Kyle was a great guy. He was sweet, funny, and practically everything his parents wanted for her. But being with him only made her think about what she truly wanted, what she had. Asking her to pretend there was some romantic interest in her towards Kyle was like asking her to deny a part of her soul. It was impossible.

He was a gracious date, even though he knew of her disinterest. At the football field, he offered to buy her popcorn or a pop but Liz politely declined. She felt bad enough that he was forced to spend the night with a distracted date, and didn’t want to increase her guilt by having him buy her things.

“So, Liz, have you come to a lot of football games?” Kyle asked, trying to do anything to get her to open up even a little.

She shook her head. “I’ve never really been interested in it. I’ve been working at my parent’s restaurant every Friday for as long as I can remember.”

“Well, I’m glad they gave you a break.”

Liz smiled at him, but it faded as they settled into their seats. The feeling was back, and Liz couldn’t shake it. She listened vaguely as the Lord’s Prayer was read, barely registering it enough to say “Amen” at the end of it.

They all stood, right hands over their chest, as the Anthem played. Liz stared around, watching them stand together in unity to support their country. Everything about this moment reminded her of Max, and with every second the prickling sensation on the back of her neck, like something was coming and it wasn’t going to be good, increased.

“...with Liberty and Justice, for all.”

Quiet fell over the stadium, as the announcer’s voice came back on the PA system instead of a buzzer signaling the start of the game. The words drifted over her as she struggled to understand what he was saying, but it was difficult to hear it as her entire world crashed around her.

“Would you bow your heads for a listed local, Vietnam dead?”

She stared up at the screen, her head lifting as everyone else bowed their heads in respect. Even before he said it, Liz knew. And with two words, something inside of her died.

“Max Evans...”

He was saying something about his family, about his life in Roswell, but all Liz could hear was the blood pounding in her ears. It wasn’t possible. He was safe. Sure, he was fighting in Vietnam, but he couldn’t be dead. He said he was coming back. He had promised it.

He had promised her.

Liz sank to her seat, her grief and agony surrounding her, suffocating as it swarmed her. She was not prepared for the emotions, could not allow herself to believe them. He wasn’t...he couldn’t be...

She found herself unable to say the words. She didn’t want to. It would make this too real, it would mean something that Liz did not think she could really believe. That he truly was...gone. But the question bubbled forth, spilling from her lips as the desperation tore at her soul.

“Dead?” she whispered, her voice hoarse and unrecognizable. It seemed appropriate, for her to lose any sense of herself. She did not want to sound like Liz Parker, could not handle being Liz Parker. Liz Parker was dead now too...her soul torn apart. Crushing pain filled her heart, and the feeling threatened to choke her. Is this what happens when your heart breaks, she wondered, her eyes filling with tears that coursed silently down her ashen cheeks.

Around her, a buzzer sounded, cheering ensued and the moment of silence was broken. But not to Liz. To Liz, the entire world was silent, cold and distant and unrecognizable without the hope and faith that had guided her over the past months.

Without another thought to the game, to Kyle, to the world, Liz dashed from her seat, sight blinded by the tears in her eyes. She didn’t know where to go, had no place to run, but it was all she could think to do. She had to get away from this pain.

A sob tore from her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth, doing her best to stifle the harsh sounds. She knew people were looking at her, but she did not want their sympathy. She did not want this to be real.

Shoulders heaving slightly from the force of her stifled cries, tears still pouring openly down her cheeks, Liz sat beneath the bleachers as the world went on around her and her entire existence shattered.

They had told her, warned her, feared that this had happened. But Liz had refused to believe it. She had never felt more alone, stripped of her faith and hope, bereft of the only love she would ever know. She did the only thing she could do.

She simply cried.

He had been unable to keep his promise. But Liz knew with certainty that she would keep hers for the rest of her life.

The End

There is something so sweet and pure and only mildly cringe-worthy about us sharing our old stories here for the birth of our new forum! Guys, I don't even care if this forum fails to launch, because I just want us to come here every day and write and post and be like we were fifteen some years ago!

lillydove, thank for being the first to post your story (I promise I'll get around to posting too). I loved this story when I beta-ed it and I love it now. And I love you girls! <3

You guys!! I forgot how much I loved this! I can’t wait until you guys post and I get to reread all of your stuff too! I’m so ready to let this completely take over my life again lol

ILU! & IFLU!